Remembering

I feel that Memorial Day has returned to its roots; when I was younger it seemed it was all about the day off, barbecuing and sales. Now I see tons of relevant Facebook posts, news segments, and fewer businesses open regular hours. It makes me happy as we need a day to remember that, while somewhat cliche now, freedom isn't free and many have made the ultimate sacrifice for our country.

Dan and I awoke to a parade going down the street in front of our apartment. It was small and only lasted 15-20 minutes, but it was neat (quite different from last year, when I stumbled onto Chicago's parade in front of my place). Small military bands played and the local fire and police departments drove by with their cars. I was happy to see that the children present were learning what Memorial Day means from such a young age.

I know a few people from high school who died in the current war. I'm happy to know that all of them loved serving their country and felt honored to do it. I'm also grateful for those who, while not dying during their service, served (and still serve) honorably: my father-in-law, who had a long career in the air force; my best friend, Braden, who currently serves in the air force; my great-grandfather who, although briefly, served in World War I; and my great-great-great-etc. grandfather Mathias McGaughey who represented Illinois in the Civil War.

I was telling Braden that I really admire him since serving in the military is something that, frankly, I'm too scared to do as I imagine many Americans are. The thought of signing up and potentially signing my life away is too much for me. So on this day I'm happy to take time to remember and thank those who not only signed up, but never came home.

My father-in-law Chuckie looking dapper on the right

Braden (right) on his mission

My great-grandfather George S. McGaughey who served in WWI

"Portrait of Mathias McGaughey" detailing his life and military service - published 1894

Only 5?

12. Describe 5 weaknesses you have

As the title implies, I could go way beyond 5, but I'll do my best to narrow it down for you.

(As a disclaimer, I admit these weaknesses but assure you I am working on them so don't judge me)

1. Impatience
Sometimes I can be very impatient. With everyone, everything. I think part of it goes to my controlling nature in that I want everyone to do what I want when I want, whether that's in traffic, in the grocery store line, working on a group project, etc. I've got to give myself credit though since I think I've gotten better at chilling out. Sometimes it tends to go from one extreme to another: I'll get all worked up and then just say eff it and become this vegetable person. I'm kind of chuckling at myself thinking about it.

2. Shortsightedness
I can get very caught up in the "now", in a bad way. If something isn't going well I just assume that life is over, it'll never get better, I'm doomed, etc. I look back on so many things and think how ridiculous I was for not realizing that the world didn't end because of XYZ. The sun eventually comes out!

3. Covetousness 
I covet. I'm not going to lie. I look at things/relationships/opportunities other people have and I want them. I'm jealous and oftentimes I dwell on it. I feel that I still try to do well for myself and work on my own life, but it gets hard because I just want it to be as easy as others have had it. I know that you can't judge a book by its cover and maybe others who look like they've had it easy had their own challenges, but let's be honest that many people come into better opportunities just by having been raised in a stable family, etc. So I guess this could be classified as covetousness/resentment.

4. Bluntness
Normally I consider this an asset, but from time to time I suffer from foot-in-mouth syndrome. I speak before I think and end up saying stupid/mean/rash things (maybe bluntless/self-control?). It's also a combination of that with word vomit. It doesn't help that I'll get a flare of "being emotional", as I like to call it, so then all bets are off and I'm telling you how it is (pointing my finger and everything). I'm much better at controlling this I think, or at least reading when it's appropriate or not to tell you exactly how I feel about something.

5. Wanting to be Liked
Sometimes I think that I want to be "liked" so much that I'm not honest with who I am; I morph into what I think others want me to be. I think this prevents me from adopting a "true" persona since I'm this sort of social chameleon. I'm also one of those, "oh no worries" when someone disappoints me just because I don't want them to reject me if I'm displeased with them. That for some reason our friendship/relationship is so fragile that if I'm disagreeable they'll abandon me. Since the start of law school, however, I think I've been better at just letting go, saying who cares, and just being me. I still have friends, so that's a good sign!

After this post I'm kind of down on myself so I'm looking forward to the next: strengths!

A Day in the Life

11. Describe a typical day in your current life.

Every day has felt completely different the past two weeks since I'm going through such a transitory period. But I'll tell you how my days usually went this past semester:

• Depending on whether or not I had work or school, I would wake up at 7 (work) 9 (school).
• Spend an hour in traffic (work) or an hour on the train + walking to campus downtown.
• Work until about 3. If it was school, I'd have an hour before class started at 1pm (thanks a lot, train schedule), then a 90 minute break until my next class at 4pm, then during my 50 minute break before my third class, my friend Jayna and I would usually grab a snack. I'd leave DePaul around 8:20-8:30, depending on the day.
• After work, I'd go to the gym for an hour or so and sometimes swing by and pick up Dan from work on the way home.
• After class, I'd either walk or cab it to the train (depending on the day) and get home around 9 or 10pm.

My bar prep course tells me I should study 12 hours a day, maybe I should redo this question in a few weeks...